My Cosi

I was telling one of the members of my Salzburg tour group that I never go to Butterfly, that Patricia Racette's famous portrayal of it is something that I always pass up.  I just hate Butterfly.  She then told me that she feels exactly the same about Cosi fan tutte, that she never goes to it and can't explain why she is now.  I agreed.  It's a horrible opera.  Not one funny thing goes on in it.

I would promise I would love Cosi only if it were staged like this:

There must not be even so much as one beat between when the two assholes appear in their so-called disguises and the girls recognize them.  The sisters must know for every second of what remains of the opera that this is their boy friends playing a cruel and stupid joke on them.  When they turn to the other guy it is because they have finally let go of their illusions and are willing to play their own reverse joke.

No one must guess this except the audience.  At the end they fire Despina and dump these two losers.  I promise I would laugh all the way through.