Cher

It's time for a fantasy opera production. Why have I never seen or read about an opera produced like a Madonna or a Cher extravaganza? Aren't we long overdue for this?

It would have to be a full-blown Neapolitan Opera Seria. We need the heroine to appear on stage machinery descending from the ceiling or a long staircase ala Busby Berkeley, each time in a different outrageous outfit. If this sounds like Pamela's Alcina to you, I can only say she didn't go nearly far enough.

Alcina is the best choice for this concept, though. The enchanted men would be the hunky dancers that always dance with the star. The star would definitely need to attempt a few cursory dance moves. Cher and Madonna aren't really dancing either.

We need strobe lights. We need amplification, including a very loud amplified orchestra. Would we need electric oboes? I think so.

Ruggiero could possibly rival the heroine in outrageousness. Sort of a Mick Jagger type would be best. The other characters would be much less spectacular, of course. And at the end when all are liberated we would need a spectacular light show, with maybe Alcina seen floating off to heaven. Or wherever. If she's floating off, I guess it has to be to heaven.